Why do we expect people to be happy all the time?

We live in a world where joy is the expected baseline. From a young age, we’re conditioned to see sadness, withdrawal, or quietness as something to be “fixed.” If someone isn’t their “usual cheerful self,” we feel the need to check in, to problem-solve, to make it better. And while that instinct often comes from love, it unintentionally creates a quiet pressure — a belief that we should be happy all the time… or risk worrying others.

Allow Yourself to Feel How You really Feel

Not every day is a joy-filled day — and that’s okay.

But what if we gave ourselves — and others — permission to simply feel whatever is present?

I like to think I’m quite grounded in my truth. I usually don’t let social expectations steer how I behave or feel. But during a recent retreat, life gave me a gentle lesson: even when we think we’re choosing freely, subtle pressure can sneak in.

I had been feeling genuinely joyful for a few days — light, open, flowing. Then on the second day of the yoga teacher training retreat, a shift came. A wave of tiredness moved through me, but I resisted it. I found myself trying to stay in the joy I had felt the day before — to “keep it up.”

At work, in social settings, we’re expected to show up a certain way: friendly, open, energetic. We're encouraged to smile and engage — even when what we really need is stillness. This expectation may keep the social machine running, but it quietly drains our prana — our life force.

No wonder we’re tired. We come home overstimulated and irritable, wondering why we can’t relax or why we snap at our children. We’ve spent the day performing a feeling that wasn’t real.

And then it hit me — how many of us are doing this every day?

It showed up as a tension headache, a tightness in my forehead. But the moment I surrendered and allowed myself to feel what was real… the pain began to release. I brought awareness to my third eye, and all the pressure seemed to concentrate, then dissolve in a cooling wave. My body was guiding me back home to myself.

What if we told our boss, “Today I’m not in my element — I need space to recharge”?
What if HR created room for natural emotional rhythms instead of always maximizing output?
Yes, productivity might dip… but perhaps burnout would too.
And maybe — just maybe — slowing down could bring us back to our wholeness.

So how can we make the world more real?

So here’s a gentle invitation:

Next time you feel low, tired, quiet, or withdrawn… don’t fix it.

Just notice it. Allow it. Be with it.

That’s not weakness — that’s wisdom.